Empty Nester Gifts

"Well, the children are grown up, married, divorced, and remarried. I guess our job is done."

'Since the kids left home, Harold and I are thinking of looking for a smaller place.'

Cut out and keep your own Teenager.

The kids are long gone and, frankly, I need the income...

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

"He insists he can't leave until he has a full-time job."

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."

'Another good thing about the empty nest, no more middle of the night surprises.'

'Mother Nature gives a sign to all young animals when it's time to leave the nest. Your time is near, son - I've got rheumatism in my shoulder from taking out the purse!'

'Of course me and Lottie never got around to having kids'

"It's the happiest day of MY life too, son - I just let your old bedroom."

'The kids all flew away, but I can't get my husband to leave the nest!'

'Son, sometimes a mother needs to hear those three little words...'I'm moving out.''

"I've found a way to keep the kids from moving back home. I've replaced the front door with a childproof cap."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

"We used to entertain a great deal."

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

I think it's time he left home.'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

Empty Nester Apple Picking - "Not THAT one, you idiot!"

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"No need to push, Mother—I'm going."

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

'You let me out. What I do when I'm out is my business.'

'Do you think Mum and Dad are trying to keep an eye on us, by enroling on the same university course as us, Colin?'

"They grow up so fast."

"We're taking separate vacations this year."

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'