Empty Nester Club Member Gifts

The garage sale had gone even better than they had expected. 'Both our kids are gone.' '...And we made an extra twenty bucks.'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

'Think about it guys: We're fed and sheltered, why would we ever think about leaving the nest?'

"Your mother and I think it's time you got a place of your own. We'd like a little time alone before we die."

"We've waited twenty-five years to make this trip, and we're certainly not interested in getting there in any six and a half hours."

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."

"No, I want to know the meaning of never calling your mother."

"We used to entertain a great deal."

'Honey...you're spoiling that child.'

I think it's time he left home.'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"The nest may be empty, but our drinks are full."

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

Empty Nester Apple Picking - "Not THAT one, you idiot!"

The kids called. They'll be home in five. Our week alone flashed by. It was like getting to know you all over again. I'm starving! Anyone call? I need the computer! Where's the remote? What's your name again?

I'm here to update your census form. Since you mailed the form in, have any of your children moved back in with you?

"No need to push, Mother—I'm going."

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

"I didn't think you'd still be here at thirty."

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

"The joy of the house to myself"

'You let me out. What I do when I'm out is my business.'

"They grow up so fast."

'Do you think Mum and Dad are trying to keep an eye on us, by enroling on the same university course as us, Colin?'

"He insists he can't leave until he has a full-time job."

"I suppose it's 'Empty Nest Syndrome', doctor. . . ever since Amber left for college I've felt so empty!"

'By the time I was your age , I'd already run away from home TWICE!'

The Old Woman in the shoe questions her decision to spend her empty-nest years in a condo at a ski resort.'

"Kids in college? Well, won't it be nice to have them home?"

'Huh! Nobody home!'

"Is it wrong that I miss the dog more than the kids?"

Now that our kids are grown and the house is paid off...

'Mother Nature gives a sign to all young animals when it's time to leave the nest. Your time is near, son - I've got rheumatism in my shoulder from taking out the purse!'

"I've found a way to keep the kids from moving back home. I've replaced the front door with a childproof cap."

"I'm off girls...gonna make the most of being an empty nester, while it lasts!!"