Empty-nester Navigator Gifts

Coming home to an empty apartment made him realize just how much he needed stuff.

"I'm taking 'moving back in with the parents' studies."

"The house doesn't seem big because the kids are gone - it seems big because we've shrunk so much."

I think it's time he left home.'

"I'm so sorry that I screamed...I had a terrible dream: the kids had to leave college and live with us again...Oh, Ed, it was horrible!"

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

"Remember, son, no matter what happens to you, we intend to always keep your room at home exactly as it is right now...empty."

"He insists he can't leave until he has a full-time job."

'Now that you have a job, Tom, Dad and I are turning your room into a condo!'

"I suppose it's 'Empty Nest Syndrome', doctor. . . ever since Amber left for college I've felt so empty!"

The Old Woman in the shoe questions her decision to spend her empty-nest years in a condo at a ski resort.'

'Mother Nature gives a sign to all young animals when it's time to leave the nest. Your time is near, son - I've got rheumatism in my shoulder from taking out the purse!'

"I've found a way to keep the kids from moving back home. I've replaced the front door with a childproof cap."

"I've been a mess since Jake left for college, so now we have a boy who comes in a couple of times a week to leave wet towels all over and challenge everything I say."

"Uh oh. It's the kids...and they're flying back!"

"After the kids moved out I turned their space into a guest room."

'My son is away at college, majoring in communications. He never calls and he never writes.'

Empty Nester Parents: Dad will give you a good talking to and mom will give you a hug.

"Either we've been robbed or the kids left without saying goodbye."

'I know that we once made a list of all the things we'd do when the kids left home but I can't remember one of them!'

'Of course me and Lottie never got around to having kids'

"Cheer up. You'll be through postpartum depression and into empty nest elation before you know it!"

After the last child moved out, the old woman sold the shoe and moved into a flat.

'I feel so empty since the kids left home.'

Empty Nest.

It seems so big now that the kids are gone.

'Honest! It was the only tree I could find!'

'The kids all flew away, but I can't get my husband to leave the nest!'

'Now that the kids have grown and gone I've decided to rent out their room.'

The "Empty" Nest maxim and misnomer

'Son, sometimes a mother needs to hear those three little words...'I'm moving out.''

"Well, the children are grown up, married, divorced, and remarried. I guess our job is done."

Modern Empty Nesters

"The kids are in college. . . what are we going to do with ourselves?"

The kids are long gone and, frankly, I need the income...