Employment Uncertainty Gifts

Janice had the feeling her boss didn't like her.

"It comes with great sadness, that one of you will be placed on furlough, for a minimum of three weeks."

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

37 years in the same position.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

Between Offices

In and Out Sourced.

Work Slave

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

"That's nice, but do you have any references other than your Mom?"

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."