Employment Uncertainty Gifts

Janice had the feeling her boss didn't like her.

"It comes with great sadness, that one of you will be placed on furlough, for a minimum of three weeks."

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

37 years in the same position.

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

'Curious how all four previous employers spelt 'exceptional' with just an 'x'.'

'Your decade of experience is, unfortunately, from the wrong decade.'

'We'd like to pay you what you're worth, too, Fenstrom. Unfortunately we must conform to the minimum wage law.'

'Let's keep in mind that although quitters never win, they often manage to avoid litigation.'

Work Slave

Between Offices

I'm over-educated and under-employed. That's why there's no MIDDLE class anymore.

In and Out Sourced.

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'A High-pain job? Yes, I believe we have that.'

'I'm afraid that the top investment banks are looking for more from job applicants than a 'Top Degree from the University of Hard Knocks'.'

''A desk job.' That's what they called it at the interview.' 'Same here.' 'SHH!'

'We like your style, but hate your substance.'

"Sitting here with you each day at sunset reminds me I have to get a job."

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

If a moo can rise to the top, so can I.

Get Well Soon and Hurry Back to the Office. . . Before Sharks Eat Your Job

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"So, you want to work at our firm, Eh?"

"We're all in the same boat, except it's more like a life raft than an actual boat."

'You must be the only 'Jack-of-all-trades' who is out of work in all of them!'

"I just need help getting started. A little seed money."

'As my subordinate, naturally I expect you to take the heat on things that otherwise would make me uncomfortable.'

'You call it diversified work experience.. I call it can't hold a job.'