Employment Law Specialist Pillows

'Good. The new chairs for our staff canteen.'

'All equality acts are created equal but some are more equal than others.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"We need a union!'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

"There she be, lads, the special economic zone!"

'Enough is enough. We're sick of being overworked and underpaid.'

Dolestart - A New Initiative

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

'Where's the fun in being an employer if you can't spontaneously sack someone anymore.'

'It's a suitability test I give all flexible working requests.'

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

'Qualifications aside, Mr Thumb, this is the cutest resume I've ever seen.'

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

'The firm is downsizing, Oglethorpe -- tell everybody to scrunch up.'

"We don't need no stinkin' unions...I saw it on the internet."

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

'right, make sure any new companies we acquire have an ageing workforce'

'I take it you're looking to some extra hours!'

'Here's a signed statement from Vince Cable saying we can get rid of underperforming employees more easily.'

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

When collective bargaining is outlawed!: 'To work here, you have to wear this metal collar!'

Nothing to Lose

"How come politicians don't earn mimimum wage. If anybody does minimum work, it's them."

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

The relationship between you and your employer is not one of equals....Being in a union fixes the imbalance!