Employment Law Buff Pillows

'Where's the fun in being an employer if you can't spontaneously sack someone anymore.'

'It's this annual, two week, non-paid, working vacation, I have questions about.'

'I'm changing the holiday schedule, you're on holiday from now.'

"You're fired."

"No, of course there isn't, 'one law for the rich and another for the poor'... There's no law for the poor."

'Call me immediately if there's any serious side effects so I can notify my lawyer.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'Pick a contract...any contract!'

"Keep your money, sir. I'm on strike!"

Sue the Author 3PM

"We need a union!'

'As a CEO, I stand up for our rights. You've got the right to work 17 hours a day and if you don't do it, I've got the right to fire you.'

BEWARE OF THE DOG!; 'So much for management's pledge to bargain in good faith.'

'You can't fire me! -- This is a right-to-work state!'

"Boss... I just read an article about trans-humanism. Apparently, sometime in the next 50 years, it will become possible to live forever."

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

'I'd also like to welcome Henderson here, who joins us through Equal Opportunities for the undead.'

Lady to man in netted car: 'Stinkin' speed trap.'

Employer surrenders to case loads of workplace disputes and claims.

"Permission To Treat Prosecutor as Hostile, Your Honor?"

"He belongs to a lawyer."

'No, you weren't there. But in your expert opinion as a certified brainiac, do you think he did it?'

'It's a suitability test I give all flexible working requests.'

'Your employee is either guilty of 'gross misconduct' or 'gross negligence'... you can't start disciplinary procedures on the basis that he is just 'plain gross'.'

'Let's see what the employment tribunal has to say about that, shall we?'

'Yes, it's easy to make a mistake in a conduct dismissal, Bob. But as mistakes go this is a big one.'

'This is just a routine check, sir - who did you vote for in the last election?'

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"I was forced into early retirement. Is that even legal?"

"I think it's a subpoena!"

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

"The law is an ass...employment law, however, is an asset."

'Let me get this clear. You want me to give you paternity leave before the baby is born.'

"We don't need no stinkin' unions...I saw it on the internet."

Attorney At Law: Today's special - Bankruptcy and Divorce. Two for the price of one.