Employment Escapader Pillows

"He came highly recommended – then again, it was a jury recommendation."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"Cubicle 311 is our 'cultural oasis'."

CEO Escape

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

'Do you have an appointment?'

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

'I received matching offers.'

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

'I don't know about you, but I sure could use a vacation.'

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

'Who said honesty is the best policy?'

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

"Maybe we apply as a group....crowdsourcing employment."

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

'I'd love to have whatever job you have left.'

'We're looking for someone who would be comfortable toiling in obscurity for at least thirty years.'

' Well..She did it to me again.'

'I'm going to write a salary figure on this piece of paper. You tell me if it is acceptable or too high.'

'The LACK of a resume indicates that I don't need one.'

"I think there's been a mistake... I applied for the caretakers job."

"There's actually nothing wrong with you but I can write out something in Latin to show your boss."

'Since you were previously self-employed, you shouldn't mind working for us without a health plan.'

Overworked colleague calling the Samaritans.