Employment Escapader Pillows

"He came highly recommended – then again, it was a jury recommendation."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

"Cubicle 311 is our 'cultural oasis'."

CEO Escape

"The labor market is awaiting you!"

Don't you worry JB, everything is fine here.

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'I hear you're looking for bounty hunters...'

'Do you have an appointment?'

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

'I received matching offers.'

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

'I don't know about you, but I sure could use a vacation.'

"John, does this mean you've given up looking for work?"

"I told you they had a tough interview process here."

They all thought they'd be astronauts...instead they're all accountants.

'Who said honesty is the best policy?'

"As always he found a way to duck out of working overtime!"

'I'd love to have whatever job you have left.'

"Maybe we apply as a group....crowdsourcing employment."

Master of the house states that he will be detained in the city on business when he learns that there is cold mutton for dinner.

' Well..She did it to me again.'

'We're looking for someone who would be comfortable toiling in obscurity for at least thirty years.'

For workers who are in need of a discreet spot to catch some Z's comes Napquest.

'I'm going to write a salary figure on this piece of paper. You tell me if it is acceptable or too high.'

'The LACK of a resume indicates that I don't need one.'

Personnel. We're overstaffed right now. With the amount of work I do, I'd hardly be noticed.

"There's actually nothing wrong with you but I can write out something in Latin to show your boss."

'Heyyy, you're hired! Want a peanut?'

"I think there's been a mistake... I applied for the caretakers job."

'Since you were previously self-employed, you shouldn't mind working for us without a health plan.'