Employee Welfare Pillows

"The staff survey shows that signs of stress and depression are going through the roof!"

"Don't flutter your little wings on company time."

Live to work or work to live?

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"Staff support"

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"Yes, I saw the obituary. So, is that why you weren't in yesterday?"

"Well, all the symptoms of just another typical case of burnout, I'm afraid."

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

'Do you really think shoulder-to-wheel and nose-to-grindstone are valid yoga positions?'

"Why, if it isn't Henshaw caught in the Overtime Warp again."

Office Ergonomics.

"It's hard to keep good people."

"What's this I hear about you not having an ulcer?"

The Dangers of National Safety Week.

'It's noble of you to want to keep your employees happy, but I can't help by prescribing something for them.'

"Before we begin, we'd like to remind you that we're an employee owned company."

Labor Day '19

'I'm not saying he's going to chew you out, but he skipped breakfast and lunch.'

"Ha! Today we informed the boss about our rights!"

'Haven't they found you a chair, yet Cludmore?'

'Many of our employees are under a lot of pressure. This keeps them from getting the bends if they begin to unwind too quickly.' (Decompression chamber)

"Your employees have lost faith in your ability to pretend to care about them."

"Under our new definition of 'what is a sale?', he hasn't made any this year."

"You're entitled to ten sick days, five personal days and four complete do-overs."

If you know that you would benefit from a 15 minute nap during the day, do your best to take one.

'I don't like your attitude, Peterson, whatever it is.'

a crash-test dummy is performing some affirmations before going to work

'I hear they've named a new stress syndrome after me.'

After the latest pay bonus and benefit awards you've won, I've decided to join you on the shop floor.

"My sensitivity trainer says I have to say 'good morning.'"

'I just wanted to slip in and say hi.'

'What does carpal tunnel syndrome feel like?'

Coffee, Snacks, and Encouragement.