Employee Rights Gifts

"Let's compromise, you forget about a pay rise and I'll forget about a pay cut."

'At the end of that round the score now stands at...'

It might be best all round Privitt if you took a month off.'

"Yes, we have a family leave plan. We'll work you so many hours your family will leave you."

'I'm not asking for a raise Mr. Betenheeler, but would it be possible for you to treat me as a human being?'

"Our policy regarding paid vacations is - if you take a vacation, you'll pay for it."

'This new 'flexible working' scheme is a great idea. . . It helps us to identify staff who have a more balanced life. People who have interests outside of the office.'

'I'm still your employer and I insist you board this flight to Malaga.'

Elves' Union Presents Demands To Santa Claus

"We pay the living dead wage."

"We're being paid minimum wage so do only a minimum, amount of work."

£50 Suggestion Bonus - Congratulations, Donkin. That idea of yours is going to save us millions.

'We've reclassified your job as part time since you take lunch breaks.'

"I'm not sure, but I think he's quiet quitting."

'I'm afraid we can't let you have any holidays but I can turn the heating up if that will help.'

'I'm on Break.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'It's a chart of office morale. This is where you went on vacation.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'You'll like this, gang ? it's an 'eyes-only' list of 'shady-but-tolerated' loopholes allowed by the Securities and Exchange Commission.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

Boss's Desk Says No!

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Be patient. He'll have to visit the water cooler sooner or later."