Employee Recognition Manager Gifts

Reserved for Apostle of the Month

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Staff support"

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

Apart from your mother, who else thinks you're doing a good job as Chairman of the company?

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Pity vs. Bragging and Public Relations

'Everyone in the company wears one, Yomp! It's what keeps us focused!'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

"I think it stopped breathing."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"I go that extra mile!"

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

'Ever feel like you've walked into a corporate lion's den?'

"Make sure the coffee has extra caffeine. I want the employees awake during overtime."

'She finally made employee of the month but she paid the ultimate price.'

"Does it count it after an 80 hour week he's here in body but his mind is off in La La land?"

'I tried that approach once, but my employees seized the carrots and attacked me with sticks.'

Took On Too Much

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."