Employee Recognition Day Gifts

Employee of the minute

"All right! They've finally come up with an employee recognition award we have a shot at!"

Anti stress week: For God sake don't miss it!!

Man re: 'Salesman of the Year' trophy: I sold the original and got this bigger one.

'Boss, about your newfound determination to focus on employee recognition...'

"You would be perfect if you weren't you!"

"Those are not buzz words."

Loyalty Award

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

"Staff support"

Desk trays - 'in', 'out', and 'one of these days'.

'Take two tablets the moment you begin to feel indispensable.'

'Let me worry about the one percent inspiration, you just take care of the 99 percent perspiration.'

"This software will cut my workload in half, so I purchased two."

'Pssst! Straighten up, here come the bigwigs.'

"Actually, the district office is getting better results with a fresh garlic bagel."

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

'I went to my boss and demanded the fruits of my labor. He gave me a Blackberry.'

"Imagine if only 1/2 the companies that claimed to have a great culture actually did."

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

"You're hired. Now, I'll show you your desk, the break room, and the dented wall you're allowed to beat your head against."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

Team Experiences Cabinet: Productivity, Fun, Goal Setting!

"I think it stopped breathing."

"Motivational seminars are too expensive. Just buy stronger coffee."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Would you all please congatulate...'

'Okay, okay, be patient!'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"I go that extra mile!"

"I misjudged you Fenton. I thought you were a 'mover and shaker' but all the time you were just bobbing and weaving."

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.