Work Recognition Gifts

Employee of the Month - female.

"That's where everyone started getting sick of me."

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Would you all please congatulate...'

Soaring Profits

'My hot-shot assistant was named as one of the top 10 to watch."

"I've finally arrived. The C.E.O. stopped saying 'who the hell are you' whenever he sees me."

Pipe Smoker of the Year Awards.

Loyalty Award

'As you know, some of us can't keep up with the pace of new technology.'

Anti stress week: For God sake don't miss it!!

"You would be perfect if you weren't you!"

Find out that man's name and give him a rise.

Employee of the Month

"If you're wondering why you've been chosen 'Employee of the week,' it's because your work load is about to increase, while your pay remains the same."

"Oh, just great, Dick. How are things going with you?"

'Ben, we need a fresh perspective. We'd like you to keynote this year's management conference.'

Honorable mention in science: the Nobel surprise.

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

A poster next to a busy beehive shows a photo of a bee under the words "Employee of the week".

'I've reviewed your performance, Henderson - and I think it's time we tossed you a bone.'

Many certificates of achievement on the wall.

"They finally gave me the employee of the month award, but it kind of loses its meaning when every single other employee has already gotten it five times."

'Your performance has been a steady boat in a sea of change.'

Thank You to Vaccinators

'...and I share my prize with the maintenance dept. who have worked tirelessly to keep the clean room perfectly immaculate.'

'Henry, you've earned one of my famous pies.'

'Boss, about your newfound determination to focus on employee recognition...'

"Those are not buzz words."

Hunter Gatherer of the Month.

Employee of the Month - male.

"Miss Gillian, can you take Mr. Robert's 'Employee of the Month' photo off the wall? And his paychecks will be coming to me for the next several months."

"Apparently you've come to somebody's attention."

'It hasn't gone unnoticed by management how much extra time you've been spending in the office...so here's a bill to repay the electricity you've used.'

'I've received celebrity status!'