Employee Benefits Analyst T-Shirts

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

"I've written the employees' benefit manual in invisible ink"

Labor Day '19

"You're entitled to ten sick days, five personal days and four complete do-overs."

'Yes we do have health benefits, but read the fine print. You're only allowed to get sick once every three years.'

"No, we don't have a pension plan. We don't expect our employees to ever retire."

"If I paid you what you're worth, you'd be working for nothing!"

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

"It's the boss's son, what can I do about it?"

'Not in here, stupid - I don't need to!'

Mitch learned beneath his conscious thoughts, he felt small,inadequate,desperately in need of strength,competence, power.

Walk the dog.

"There's a one-year don't-get-sick probation period for our health insurance."

'We're going to wander in the desert for forty years? What about portability of benefits?'

"Remind me, Simpkins. Did I fire you or not?"

'You're offering me a job, eh? -- does it have portable benefits?'

'Our health plan consists of an hour of free web time to self-diagnose.'

'Oh yeah, our people will just fall over themselves to get transferred to this office.'

'The good news is that our latest campaign has MASSIVELY improved understanding of the job status and prospects.'

'Sweet! Money to pay my health insurance premium!'

'What's your threshold of pain when it comes to salary and benefits?'

Homeless trainee.

"And what made you apply for this job besides our free dental care?"

"Will I be covered by the same medical benefits plan?"

"Of course I welcome criticism. Make it easy to identify the malcontents."

"I can't sit down. To prove my loyalty to the company I got branded."

'We considered offering health insurance, but it's cheaper to have taxpayers pick up the tab at hospital emergency rooms.'

'I was replaced at work by some guy who smuggled himself in on a banana boat,'

"They're offering me comprehensive medical and full dental. Now if they just throw in a salary it'll be perfect!"

'Don't worry, guys, the company daycare will be ready to open in less than a month.'