Compensation Analyst T-Shirts

"If I paid you what you're worth, you'd be working for nothing!"

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Your salary will help you learn the lesson that life is not fair.'

'And we have an employee wellness program. By not offering health insurance or sick pay, we encourage wellness.'

"Whaddya want for nineteen mil?"

Experience-Productivity Ratio / Age-Salary Ratio.

'It's a treasure map.'

'Look at my huge salary as inspiration to you...'

Brilliant suggestion Kimble, to get rid of all the deadwood around here - we'll miss you.

"You should probably pass if they offer stock options."

"I think you should provide a 401(k) with my allowance."

'Desks equipped with airbags - for now that's our company's health plan.'

"No, we don't have a pension plan. We don't expect our employees to ever retire."

"Can money buy happiness? Certainly not the amount I'm paying you."

"It's been a bit of a roller coaster year so far."

Income inequality vs Income Diversity.

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

'He's a control freak but the treats are good.'

'...but if daddy raised your allowance he'd be hurting the economy by stimulating inflation. You wouldn't want him to do that, would you?'

'This is the part of my paycheck that goes to taxes.'

'There are some subjects that are off limits...CEO bonuses...Overtime pay...Business ethics...'

Economy - 'And this is where you took the day off to watch the cricket.'

"He claims he does the work of two employees."

I dread to think what he would have got had they made a profit.

'I already know about the birds and the bees. Tell me about investing my allowance for capital appreciation.'

'If I have to buy my sneakers with MY money, doesn't that blur the line between allowance and support.'

'We really can't afford golden parachutes any more, but here's a plastic crash helmet.'

"Remind me, Simpkins. Did I fire you or not?"

"We're still negotiating. I want a six-figure starting salary and they don't want to hire me."

'You've handled your allowance responsibly for three years so we're cutting it by three percent and requiring you to pay a share of your health care expenses.'

Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of an organization advocating the overthrow of the generous executive bonus system in corporations?

Name That Salary

"Damn shareholders are objecting to 'grotesquely inflated' executive pay... They want us to settle for 'outrageously inflated'!"

"Do you realise 25% of your salary goes to the government?"