Emotionally Aware Gifts

"I can’t believe you’re doing this! I have abandonment issues! Abandonment issues!!!"

Feeling under the weather

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

How can he sleep so comfortably knowing that pillow will someday be clogging a land fill...

Worry tank

"Stop summoning me about rising sea levels. I do costumed supervillains staling jewels, men in beanies grabbing handbags - that sort of thing."

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

"You dropped yer wallet."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

'What do you expect from a child being raised in a paperless society?'

"It's not easy being green…"

'Don't act too happy that school's out. You'll hurt our teacher's feelings.'

'Look, I know I'm just the bread, but I feel like you guys aren't being emotionally honest with each other and it's going to cause problems down the road.'

"If your emotional intelligence is so high, why do you always forget our anniversary?"

Psychiatry. I keep thinking the same bad thoughts over and over! An "emotional baggage carousel"!

"Will they ever realize that global warming is real?"

“You must be this self aware and emotionally secure to go on this ride”

"Would it kill you to ask me how I'm doing once and a while?"

"Good news, Mrs. Jennings! The lump in your throat isn't cancer, it's from watching a lot of sad movies."

Please do not throw vials of steroids onto the field.

"It's just till I get over our dog running away."

"Your problem, Trevor, is that you're very thin skinned."

Women rush to man with 'I heart emotions' t-shirt.

'What's that supposed to mean!?!'

'I'm from China!'

Human empathy

I saw that! Saw what? You just had tears in your eyes. The end of the movie made you cry! Did not. Why not just admit it? What's the big deal? It was a sad movie and you cried. It happens to everyone. You think you're above normal emotions? Are you better than the rest of us?! No. Fine, okay. It was sad. Maybe my eyes were a little moist. Girly man! Look at the crying girly man! Can't win.

"I can't tell if I'm being overly sensitive or you're being a cold, controlling, maniacal jerk."

Cocaine discovered in British marine life. . . Shrimp Coketail

'I spoke to my therapist and she says it's okay if I don't like you.'

"I respect and appreciate how hard the spilled milk is for you."

'We're looking for managers that demonstrate high levels of emotional intelligence. Here, please try on this mood ring.'

'Wow, what a hothead!'