Emotional Wellness Warrior Pillows

"Can you guide me out of years of emotional despair?"

Balance

'I'm looking for something to change my life from quiet desperation to utter jubilation.'

"Doctor Finkelstein is here to ensure you're not carrying any excess emotional baggage on board."

"I think I've found the trouble, Mr. Nadler!"

'When I call for the time and temperature, they say 'Who wants to know?''

"Hurt People hurt people."

'Quit whining about your divorce settlement! You're not the only one, you know!'

'Your therapy was a success and you're sure to have your violent temper under control now? Really? Well, then... you're fired, you idiot.'

'Anyone here for the psychiatrist?'

"You left your demons here last week."

'True despair is timeless, Nora.'

There are days when even Santa doesn't believe in Santa anymore...

I'm not listening.

Depression

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

'If you don't chill out, you are definitely heading for a meltdown...!'

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

"Uptight End"

"I told him he should have trained more."

"I appreciate the support. It feels good to finally get that off my chest."

DNA Analysis.

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

Mental Health System Breakdown

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

"Try letting the ball come to you."

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

'What makes you think no-one understands you?'

Feel alienated by technology? Tell me more. Press 1 for yes, 2 for no.

'Would you feel less inferior if I made you a Colonel?'

'I don't believe in myself any more.'

"Ever since the accident, I can't seem to get it together."

'You should have seen me sooner, Mr. Fenswick.'

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."