Emotional Therapist Gifts

"I've got pride but no shame."

You were warned about mixed marriages.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

WHO checklist

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

'He's got 99 problems but his Bitch aint one!'

Exposed Intimacy Safety Vulnerability Hidden Enmity

'Ignore them, Charlie. They're nothing but philistines. I liked your poetry, truly I did!'

Debbie greatly misinterpreted the marriage counselor's suggestion that she and Tom have a monthly 'date night.'

"He thinks he never makes mistakes."

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

School nativity. Boy says: 'If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this drama ...'

Mime marriage.

Woman walking into Inner Beauty Salon.

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"There's my very first school - where I learned how to hug."

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

'Why am I such a grouch?'

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

Ecological Therapy

"We don't talk."

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)

'Margaret. I feel that we must talk about our relationship.'

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

"You keep everything bottled up inside."

If you are ringing your coach to ask about your next move then we're finished.

"If I'd known, I would've changed my vows to; Until bald and fat do we part."

Broken Heart

"The secret of our relationship? Easy. She just acts as if I don't even exist."