Emotional Support Advocate Gifts

Parrot to owner: 'The cracker is fine, but will it satisfy my emotional needs?'

Suicide note.

"It helps me feel accepted in the world."

'It's good to talk.'

"Dad, it's okay to use the word 'died.'"

"There's an Officer Ripley inside who sure could use a hug."

"Am I doing something wrong? You don't say 'Good dog' to me anymore."

"You're not validating my feelings."

"Have you tried sitting in a box?"

"I don't need you to slay the dragon. I need you to listen about the dragon."

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

"I'd invite you in, but I'm still cleaning up a few remnants from my previous relationship."

Kiosk in large lobby with sign above it labeled 'Empathy'.

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Pet a Puppy

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

Codepetdency Counseling: "He won't even sit on my lap anymore."

Pet Shop - Parrot labeled as 'Good Listener'

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

Can't even hold signs well.

The Female Brain and The Other One

"Rescue someone; rescue yourself"

Emotional Support Pest

Woman walking into Inner Beauty Salon.

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"Now, let’s talk about your attachment issues."

"We added it just for the millenials."