Emotional Health Journey Gifts

"You think you're a monster because you have poor self image."

'Look, you can only do so much!'

"Postwar is hell."

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

Window Treatment

"One side is for depression, the other is for anxiety, and if you're still confused make an appointment with the cat."

"You left your demons here last week."

Begin this high fiber diet slowly. Too fast and your co-workers may complain of a greenhouse effect.

"Have you ever thought of just knocking this 'half-empty glass' OFF the counter?"

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'Barb had her stomach replaced with a mouse's stomach to help her eat less.'

Stockbroker and Psychotherapist: Money won't make you happy and therapy won't make you rich.

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'

I have to get the Positive Thinker...

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

Thanks to therapy, Bob no longer felt like a nobody. He felt like an anybody.

"If you're not on the brink of despair you're part of the problem"

"Trust me. This is going to make it easier to discuss your childhood."

Emotional Support Pest

Exposed Intimacy Safety Vulnerability Hidden Enmity

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

'My building inspector just doesn't understand me.'

Woman walking into Inner Beauty Salon.

'Why am I such a grouch?'

"I’d like to return my Fitbit—It won’t stop calling me a lazy piece of sh*t."

Attack of the 'health' foods

Cliche Amusement Park. This park is no fun at all --- It's too much like real life! Look, that ride is called "The Emotional Roller Coaster." Over there is "Life's Ups and Downs"! ... and "The Mood Swings"! Look! The good old "Tunnel of Love"! Finally! A ride that's just a fun escape! Out of ardor. "Out of ardor" --- More real life. (Published originally Sept. 4, 2005.)

"You're just a shell of your former self. You need to improve your diet."

"Don't judge me until you've walked a mile on my medication."

Yes, yes, let your aggressions out, but not here!

"Can I get back to you? I'm getting a call from my worry-coach."

"Ever since the accident, I can't seem to get it together."

"I don't mind emotional trauma if I can turn it into a really funny anecdote."

"You keep everything bottled up inside."