Emotional Eulogist T-Shirts

"I was an incurable romantic until I met Martha's divorce lawyer."

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

Woman and pets with hair sticking straight up all enter Stress Management Clinic.

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Relationship Warning Lights

"The Langmore Regional High School Inner Debate Team"

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

"If you let down your guard, I'll walk over the moat."

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

Large Emoticon Collider

"The day at school? Oh, you know, the usual psychological and educational stew."

"What I’ve learned is you have to look deep inside your heart and ask yourself, ‘What is it that she really wants to hear?’"

The Map of the Human Heart

'Am I looking sad or happy in the appropriate places?'

'I'm sick and tired of your mood swings, Frank!'

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"

"There's something I have to tell you."

"I appreciate the support. It feels good to finally get that off my chest."

"...and those are my deepest, most intimate feelings about our friendship."

"My inner child wants to have a playdate with your inner child."

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"David live a rich, full life, despite what his Wikipedia page says."

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

"I can’t remember the last time he hugged me!"

Exposed Intimacy Safety Vulnerability Hidden Enmity

"You're not sick, you're just in love." "I'd like a second opinion."

"That must be the artist over there."

"Nd how did tht mke u feel?"

"The artist-in-residence is struggling a bit, but other than that we're fine."

"I'm putting you on entry level anxiety meds."

"We can try and mend the damaged heart, but not a broken one."