Emergency Silly Caller Pillows

'Boy! Those 911 operators sure get snooty when you call at 4 a.m. and ask them to translate the words to Frere Jacques.'

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

Cold caller.

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

In case of emergency...break glass: Crisis Manual.

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

'It's for you.'

Save the bacon,

Alexander Graham Bell receives his first telephone call.

'There is someone on the phone for you.'

'Someone call 9-1-1!!!'

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

Emergency Marketer

"911? My husband's unresponsive."

"Okay wait, it just came in. I guess he did text for help."

'I'm on the train.'

'Emergency - put me through to the yoga club immediately!'

So sorry, I dialled the wrong number. I dialled my salary by mistake.

Moderately Quick Sand

'I won't be in to work today... I woke up with a bug.'

Man raised flag of drowning women.

"Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us. If at some point that's no longer true, we will disconnect."

"I know it was you. I have collie ID."

'Thank you for phoning our vineyard. . .'

It's somebody asking, "What are you wearing?" It must be for you. ! ? !

'Rudyard here,,,I've always wanted to say that - this is Bob,,,No, not Bob Kipling,'

'Ugh...I hate phone solicitors.'

'Hello, Pizza Palace of Seattle? -- Do you charge extra for delivery?'

"I tried 911. They're only accepting the seventh caller."