Emergency Silly Caller Pillows

'Boy! Those 911 operators sure get snooty when you call at 4 a.m. and ask them to translate the words to Frere Jacques.'

Could you send a plumber out? I think the washers have gone!

"Would you like to leave a message? He's on the throne"

'Let me through, let me through, I'm a computer geek.'

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

Cold caller.

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

'Thank you for waiting. Please continue to hold and your call will bee answered as soon as we can.'

"If you're annoyed by answering machines, press 1. . ."

Drat. Your bolts are metric,but my tools aren't.

In case of emergency...break glass: Crisis Manual.

Psychic TV Guru & Cellular Phone Commercial Spin.

'It's for you.'

Save the bacon,

Alexander Graham Bell receives his first telephone call.

'There is someone on the phone for you.'

'Someone call 9-1-1!!!'

'Sorry, I missed your call. . . I'm either goofing off at the fax machine or telling someone what I did over that weekend...'

Emergency Marketer

"911? My husband's unresponsive."

"Okay wait, it just came in. I guess he did text for help."

'I'm on the train.'

Moderately Quick Sand

So sorry, I dialled the wrong number. I dialled my salary by mistake.

'Emergency - put me through to the yoga club immediately!'

'I won't be in to work today... I woke up with a bug.'

Man raised flag of drowning women.

"I know it was you. I have collie ID."

"Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us. If at some point that's no longer true, we will disconnect."

'Hello, Pizza Palace of Seattle? -- Do you charge extra for delivery?'

'Rudyard here,,,I've always wanted to say that - this is Bob,,,No, not Bob Kipling,'

'Thank you for phoning our vineyard. . .'

'Ugh...I hate phone solicitors.'

"I tried 911. They're only accepting the seventh caller."

Dial 123-SICK and Reach Out to Your Fellow-Hypochondriacs