Emergency Drill Buff T-Shirts

'We had quite a fire drill at school today -- there was looting.'

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?

A fire extinguisher box with band aids in them has a sign above with reads, "In case you cut yourself breaking glass break this glass."

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'For no particular reason I want to know the location of our fire extinguisher.'

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

"The following is a test of the fire-alarm system. It is only a test. Please ignore the intense heat and combustion."

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

"My God, now what?"

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

"Sorry, it will have to be fire, police or ambulance. Superman is busy right now."

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

'Oh - It's you.'

'I doubt whether the Green Goddesses can cope with this.'

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

"I've got a pulse!"

Fire Assembly Point

'Quick! Page the flight deck, bring me oxygen, gloves, a mask and someone junior!'

'Lightening hit the band shell while the orchestra was playing...'

"We ran into a marathon."

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

In case of fire call yourself.

Really big bang

"Hello, A and E, which department do you need, stabbing, shooting or general GBH?"

'Just this once sir, we need the overtime.'

"Whoa...not so fast! First of all please tell me your address, your health insurance number, and spell your name for me, Mr. HelpI'mBleedingToDeath."

Worker: 'QUICK, does anybody here know First Aid?!' / Worker: 'Yeah, him.'

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'

'You'd better clear out some rooms, nurse. He jumped off a bridge, and all his friends are behind him.'