Emergencies T-Shirts

"Oh no - what can we do? We haven't got our phones to film it!"

'I'm on my way!'

'You'd better clear out some rooms, nurse. He jumped off a bridge, and all his friends are behind him.'

Police officer giving ticket to paramedics.

'Kitchen! Chicken Bone! Hurry!!' - Rent-A-Surgeon

"I know you're new to the job, Ms. Jones, but the correct term is 'stat'... not 'move your ass'!"

'Hold it, you can cancel that STAT call.'

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

"Where's the fire, pal?"

"Sorry. . . Houston isn't here at the moment - but if you'd like to leave a message. . ."

"The blaze has taken hold on the eight floor Chief. The C.E.O., V.P. and C.O.O. are trapped in the boardroom!!"

"But it's 3 o'clock in the morning. Okay, one word ... rhymes with liar."

'I'd say you're a little late...'

'I doubt whether the Green Goddesses can cope with this.'

Woman gossiping on emergency phone

Paramedics carrying a stretcher over car bonnets.

"That moment when you suddenly forget why you’ve walked into a room."

'I keep them around for unruly octopi, or giant radioactive spiders... you know, just in case.'

'I'm a doctor... This man needs someone who can grant me immunity from liability, and FAST!'

'When the fire department arrives, Ms. Lilly... send them right in!'

'This is it Jeff...the last of the red hot louvres.'

'Yes, she's still doing it, Dr. Christiansen....'

'I can't call 911, Merle! You have my cell phone!'

Plumbing Emergency

'Which of the emergency services do you require - fire, police, ambulance or bank loan?'

Hello, fire department and sundry municipal services. Help! Fire! It's the kitchen! Don't panic. Remain calm. Calm?! We've got a major grease fire. Hey, I can't be expected to do everything … What? Answer the phones, put out fires, clean the parks, garbage collection … What part of fire don't you understand?!

"The woman at 911 is very snippy."

A female patient in an exam room sees a sign that reads, 'Break glass in case of physician burnout'

"Now, how can I be of assistance?"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

First aid in mountains

Emergency Phone.

"He's going to be O.K., but he still wants you to remarry."

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

Who should I call first? 911 or Technical Support?