Embracer Of Contradictions T-Shirts

"Son, you can be gay or straight or liberal or conservative and I'll still love and support you. All I ask is that you not be a wimp."

"Great! I must be growing. The womb was less than half full last week."

Japanese woman in minimalist house reads 'How to Clutter Your Life'

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"When Harold first said he identified as a balloon animal I thought it was just a phase, but here we are fifteen years later and it seems to be working."

Top Ten New Year's Resolutions

Some of us are calm on the surface but paddling like crazy underneath, and some of us are just the opposite.

'I'll grow old gracefully when I want to and not any sooner.'

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

'He's doing it again.'

"I've got pride but no shame."

Fortune teller predicts a bigger family for worried parents.

'I checked that birds and bees stuff on the internet, Dad -- it says you're full of baloney.'

'But what if you're a masochist...?'

Man rummaging through a TV set throwing out bits of paper

"Teacher believes in performance-enhancing hugs."

Feel good loser. NON WINNER

Salman Rushdie

'Hurray! I'm a baby!'

"That explains why Larry is the most confident employee in our company!"

'Congratulations, your days of avoiding the real world are finally over.'

Worker is confused at the Paradox Parcel Company.

Organised Crime / Disorganised Crime

"It's incredible what nonsense people will believe as long as there are others who also believe."

'Have you read about the millionaire who dresses like a hobo and gives money to those who are kind to him?'

The Artist

"You have my pet and I have my pet!"

'What's happiness, it can't buy money.'

Gone were the days of emotional restraint.

'If I had to live my life over again...I'd make the same mistakes sooner.'

"Okay, you're right! It's impossible to repack sardines!"

Elephant and large lady both balancing on the scales. They weigh the same.

'No, the chaos theory does not account for the state of your room.'

Over Eater's Anonymous.

Plant rose trees in a sunny part of the garden.