Email Security Enthusiast Pillows

"Don't open that email! Oh... too late."

"My email is down... talk to me."

Out and In.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

'Where was the TSA?'

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

Spam in Hell.

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Santa called but you were out!

"I dreamt we got a 'sorry you were out' card."

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

"Mail's here."

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"The new computer is great, but we can't get rid of the old one. It knows too much."

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

CCTV in church.

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

E-waste - 'Well there's another hour gone on email.'

"I think retrieving the info from that harddrive might be a little tricky."

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

"Oh, and add a couple of intentional typos to my weekly email update...I want to appear warm and authentic!!"

"Hackers, Sire! They've broken through our firewall."

'Im so overloaded with emails, just one monitor wasn't enough to handle them all.'