Email Marketing Pillows

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"She's opened the email... load the coupon cannon!"

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."

"Shopping data and browsing history of consumers who actually feel guilty unsubscribing from mailing lists!"

"My email is down... talk to me."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Out and In.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

"No, kid, we don't call these 'attachment icons.' We call them paperclips."

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Sir, will that be business or first class?'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

Spam in Hell.

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

Santa called but you were out!

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"Thank you for your e-mail. I will be out on a walk for the next twenty minutes and plan on barking remotely until my return."

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

Spam in inbox.

Dog traps the postman.