Email Marketing Pillows

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

"She's opened the email... load the coupon cannon!"

"How many of these 'email blasts' are we talking about, General."

"Shopping data and browsing history of consumers who actually feel guilty unsubscribing from mailing lists!"

"My email is down... talk to me."

'The check is in the email attachment.'

Out and In.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"The article you sent me on how technology causes stress crashed my computer."

"No, kid, we don't call these 'attachment icons.' We call them paperclips."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

Spam in Hell.

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

Santa called but you were out!

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob

"Did you get my e-mail about who takes out the trash today?"

"Thank you for your e-mail. I will be out on a walk for the next twenty minutes and plan on barking remotely until my return."

Excess Baggage: You send emails from exotic places just to make your friends jealous.

Dog traps the postman.

"....and then it turned out that the e-mail I ignored that I got from the Nigerian bank offering me £200 million was REAL!"

'The kids are grown and gone now, but they always keep in touch.'

'It's a new rule, sir - There's a seven-day waiting period for stamps now.'

Spam in inbox.