Email Marketing Strategist Gifts

"She's opened the email... load the coupon cannon!"

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

Out and In.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"Would you say that the sales projections in your 3 year plan are realistic?"

Likes: $2.

"#Win!"

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

"A one-word email reply... classic power move."

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

"Looking at you, the moon and beyond, don't you think we could start a blog?"

"It's a new target to target a time to reduce targets so that we'll be less target driven!"

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

'Kroft, Kroft, Kroft...to thine own demographic be true!'

'Our little guy is busy with homework, or if we're lucky, some sort of social network start-up.'

'I bought him to retrieve my e-mails.'

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

Maybe it's now time to review our customer care strategy!"

"It probably got lost in the voice mail."

'Don't bite. They're trolling again.'

Spam in Hell.

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

'You're good with people. Just tell him to go fuck himself.'

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

'Our most successful e-mail campaign was an offer to take customers off our e-mail list.'

Man from refuse department says: 'We'll send you a new wheelie bin, Mrs Trubshaw, there's really no need to 'orchestrate a mass Twitter campaign'.'

"I thought that modern communications systems were meant to be more efficient...That they would cut down on waste and duplication."

Executive Asks Death To Wait

Technology and Love

"You should be able to get through your emails during the working day then you could use the rest of your life to do some of the work."

So, if you don't get this mail because I wrote the wrong address again, please reply to me a.s.a.p. Best, Bob