Email Escapade Expert Pillows

'I hate bloody football! It's just a bunch of over-rated, overpaid nancy boys kicking a b-' - 'Genuine football fans may leave work early to avoid missing the start of important World Cup fixtures.' - 'C'mon England!'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

The Great Pyramid of Paperwork

"I can hardly wait...TWO WHOLE weeks without having to deal with mindless e-mails, incessant interruptions, boring meetings...."

'Hey! I sad, 'You've got mail!''

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

Email Notifications

'This is you, enlarged.'

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

"Outta my way. I need to check my email!"

"There's nothing wrong with her. With e-mail, texting and tweeting, she just hasn't needed to learn to talk."

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

"We've had to introduce measures lately to stop the entomology department from knocking off early on a Friday."

Mary had a little spam

Spam.

"Master, you have 175,568 unread messages in your inbox."

'Do you have an appointment?'

Academics at the Beach: Professor Wilson receives his email messages by the use of willpower alone.

"I'm thinking your email must have gotten directed into my 'Oh no, that guy again' folder."

Death skis towards a man fishing on cracking ice

"Sending out 1300 redundancy notices by mistake was a bit of a blooper!"

'Out of office - Please leave your emails in the inbox next door.'

Spam.

"Let me assure you voters that my life is an open email...at least it is since that last Russian cyber attack."

"Now that the playground's thawed, let's welcome back Mary Redmond, Sarah Turpin, and Hector D'Amico."

Gone Phishing

Mountain escalator.

'Would you like to eat in the restaurant or dine outside on our Wasp-atorium?'

'Are you crazy? -- You can't spam SANTA!'

'I know those big money deals from NIGERIA are a scam, but this e-mail is from NEW GUINEA!'

Seniors Pro (putt putt) Golf Tour.

'I've located the source of all that annoying spam we've been receiving...preparing to destroy.'

"Another company thinks I might like to keep receiving their emails!"