Eloquence Expert Gifts

Time for speeches

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

'My teacher said the school has tough new standards and I need to improve my vocabulary. What's 'vocabulary'?'

Older woman explains how to see off men with one of her looks

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

"Thanks for your introductory speech at the conference. By the way, Hibblemeyer, it's 'hard-headed' businessman, not 'thick-headed'."

"Still on your left."

"Your first job is to learn to recognize your boss' voice on the phone."

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'Warspeak department' making up new military terminology.

Four Score and seven years ago...

"I'd like to be the first to welcome you to our company. But, I've decided not to hire you."

"Two minutes, 40 seconds. Next ... Two minutes, 53 seconds. Next ..."

Grim Reaper enters classroom where he teaches dead languages.

"I don't know how he does it. He preaches entire sermons without using the words like, cool or awesome."

"Grammatically, the stickman should be behind the deer."

"I'd just like to say what a pleasure it is to be here"

I think he's saying that after losing his job, he was retrained as a street mime.

"He claims to be a specialist, but I think he just has a one-track mind."

"He can't stop digressing."

"With your rhetorical skills, young man, do you realize that you could become a mogul?"

"He has a wonderful command of the language, doesn't he?"

Expert and Ex-Pert

Lou's Barber Shop Discussions

'I'm exhausted! I've been JUSTIFYING all day long!'

'Andy, you can be honest with me. Do you think I'd make a good manager?' - 'Why couldn't she just ask me if I like her hairstyle.'

"A pox on both your summer houses."

"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "

"A-ha, I've proven them wrong! The computer, my one and only friend, says I have high EQ."

"If you really know what your doing...why do you need to practice?"

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair bill

"Okaaay, so 'maybe' I don't 'understand' how air quotes 'work.'"