Elopement Enthusiast Pillows

'That's it, lad - get her NOW before she balloons up like her mother!'

'At least consider it. I'll give you £1000 to elope!'

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'I always cry at weddings!'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"You don't know me well enough to not care how I look."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

Why Cupid is not allowed to drink alcohol anymore...

Incompatible.

"We met through the personals. We both were seeking someone 'Rubenesque'."

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

'I really can't stay for dessert. Why don't you stay and DVR the rest of the date for me?'

"Homosapius amorius... the common lovebirds."

'...And then, I guess our relationship got TOO meaningful.'

Wedding disaster #27.

As long as there are husbands, we'll get our's money's worth!

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'....Till death do you part, don't say I didn't warn you.'

Visual Gag: An about to be married Bride using a real train as a wedding gown train

'The correct response, Tanya, is 'I do' not 'yeah, whatever'.'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

Dialogue

Minister to marrying couple: 'Remember, you're under oath.'

"You may now let me go try to get the sand out of my shoes and suit just in time for my next beach wedding."

Wedding bouquet spring loaded shoes.