Elite Eater Gifts

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"Even the waiters here are organic."

'Oh, and I suppose I'm the only one who's ever heard it's a 'dog eat dog world'?'

What do you mean you prefer the sound of the sign of the right?! What part of 'either way we're dead' do you not understand?

View to the Future

"Wait—did you procure that worm humanely?"

"Wild-caught, farm-raised, lab-grown, beach-found, or aquarium-harvested."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

'Is it guilt that when you eat us that we are no longer called pigs but bacon, pork chops or ham?'

'May future generations forgive you for eating that sausage...'

"Is the asparagus farm-raised or wild-caught?"

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Now, think hard about it: Do you want to be known as the one who ate the last Dodo?'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

'It's going to be a vegan.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

"We would like to be genetically modified to taste like Brussels sprouts."

"I detect a subtle bouquet of money."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

"All our vegetables are organic, ethically sourced and stunned before being boiled."

"Well, I'm the company sports champion! During the lunch break I ate more hamburgers than any other colleague!"

"On second thought, just give me the ham and forget the roast beef."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"Is it free-range?"

"Nothing is organic, local or sustainable. Now, can we get started?"

"Sure, ha ha, it’s all ‘free-range’ beef."

'Beef Counselor - mad cow, foot and mouth, diet, nutrition, ethics'

"Now make sure your heat is high enough to sear your putrid meat quickly."

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

'Rob is a vegan.'

"How 'local' is the fish?"

'What do you have that hasn't been cloned?'

Alphabet soup