Elf Ally Pillows

"I've diligently spent the last eight hours saving an entire colony of elves from a pack of vicious dragons and your only concern is that it is 2 am?"

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

High security Santa's grotto

Elfie Stick

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"We must rise up and claim our rightful place at the table of society! We must never rest until we are given the respect and dignity we deserve! Chica power!"

Alice in Wonderland: The Queen Turns into a Pack of Cards.

When did you first feel like a male trapped in a female body? When I was a foetus.

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

Angler sees sign that says 'Good Spot'. He says, 'This looks like a good spot.'

Lemon Harangue Pie Mix

"Amazon wants to open a facility here due to our friendly labor environment."

"It is just as the Oracle foretold!"

Labrador for sale

'Don't get me wrong. I like the hugs, but I could really use a kiss once in a while.'

'Sorry...you're not quite right for the position.'

"Please turn to page 38 in your hymn-or-her books." The feminist cause marches on.

"Don't even think about it."

"It's the addition for our family room."

"He's upset I'm getting 36,000 points for speeding in one night."

"Okay, who's the wise guy elf?"

'I'm telling you, I don't have a good feeling about this.'

'Aside from a crazed sheep now and then, this is a very risk-free profession.'

Dog hides eyes as car turns into vet clinic.

"You believed you were above everyone else, and deserved to look down on others. This is a clear case of shelf-elf-filling prophecy."

During a respite in union negotiations, simmering tensions boil over as some disgruntled members of the toymakers elf union take matters in their own hands.

Goblin.

Full Serve/Elf Serve

Did You Know That...Scientists in Illinois, USA, claim we would live a longer life if we were more like elves?

"He must be a South Pole elf..."

Reason # 23 that doors don't make perfect seal against winter winds: Mischievous unemployed elves.