Elegant Entertainer T-Shirts

Glyndebourne

Knock that back please, I'm cleaning the crystal.

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

Showbiz Awards

Zombie standup

"I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It's always my intention to leave you laughing."

"Here's another one written in E minor and in case you haven't guessed by now, it's the only chord I know."

"Behold! As I transform this family size frozen lasagna into a meal for one."

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

Clown on bike.

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

'How are the ventriloquist lessons going?'

"We're following Carrot Top."

A Guide to Balloon Animals

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

"Extreme miming"

The Rooster Comedian.

'Now THAT'S a presentation! Great delivery, great graphics, and he moonwalks from the room.'

Comedy Cafe

"Smile when you say that, pardner."

Cow Show Tunes

'I guess it's not much consolation but I thought your impersonation of the King was a riot.'

"That'll be five bucks."

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

'How's everyone doing tonight - that is the question.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

"I always thought I'd be good at getting drunk and crying on camera for Bravo."

'What? You ate the gateau instead of throwing it into my face?? You insensitive, egotistical brute! You don't love me anymore!'

"To save time, I'll just mention the people I’m not thanking."

Clown God