Electronic Payment Fan Pillows

Exit. I don't use cash anymore. All my transactions are electronic. For the first time in my life I can say "money is no object."

Drive Through: Attorney, Therapy and Prayer

'This reminds me...what generation iPhone are you?'

"I've been a postie for 20 years. . ."

Workplace Confidentiality.

'Oh, I'm sorry Frank, it's just when you come home in that outfit, sometimes I lose control... so anyways, when's dinner?'

Pizza-Matic

"Welcome to the Desert Writing Workshop. Today we will focus on irony."

"You've taken some creative liberties, Noah."

"How am I going to put in a new tape?"

There was no denying that 3D printing technology had created a disintermediation revolution in Jeff's workplace.

Actually, I really admire him. He pushes the envelope!

"Would you put down that Kindle?"

Lincoln's Gettysburg URL Address

Vents, real and digital.

3...2...1...I'm Recording

'And then, after soccer practice, we stopped at crazy Al's Big Screen TV Store!'

'Cash only?! What is this, the dark ages?!'

"I'll confess, the first time I realized they didn't have any panes it gave me quite a turn!"

Busker with a Card Machine

"Hey boy! Hey! Hey! Hey! Are those earbuds? Hey!!"

Tweeted

Pizza. I found the remote but now I can't find the TV.

Something keeps shorting out my bug zapper. Maybe it's lightning bugs!

'I'ld like to return my Junk Male.'

Bully accepts Paypal, Venmo or Bitcoin

It's a text from the patient. He says 'more anesthetic, please.'"

Industrial Robot: 'Should I remove this item?'

Frequently used emojis, spring 2020

The first ever novel written entirely in emoticons.

"Hey Tony, you're a young guy. What sort of emoji goes with, 'Pay what you owe us, you lousy bum, or we're coming over there to break your legs'?"

Trump Tweets

'Tyler, I'm afraid you've been autocorrected in favor of Taylor.'

"Do you know who I'd like a one-to-one with?"

'I hear he died laughing...while texting.'