Election Comedy Pillows

'Walter has been undecided since 1984.'

"Exactly how undecided would you say you were at this precise moment?"

"Pendleton will stay afloat no matter what!"

'Thank you but I'm a bit sensitive to ethnic food.'

"Wake up, it's Spring and we forgot to vote!"

'They expect us to vote cold sober?'

'You've got to help me, Doc - I'm a swing voter!'

"If memory serves, the alternative to being a McGovern-nik was being a Nixon-nik."

Trump's firings

'Look out, he has a gun!'

England's jester - United States' jester.

Jeb Can Ficks It

"Give me moderation or give me death!"

'We see a lot of carpal tunnel syndrome caused by repetitious pushing of the tv mute button during the political ad season.'

I like you as president/I like-like you as president.

The Big Nothing

Four Seasons Total Landscaping

Vice-President Auditions Today!

2019 Debate: "I'd like to begin by calling my opponent a babbling idiot!"

"The gravy train at platform 2 will be calling at all stations to Westminster."

"Even in the virtual world I haven't made partner."

And the pig stood up and slowly walked away...

It's not the Winning. It's the Taking Part that Counts. Vote Lib Dem.

Elect Fred O. Pittley: The Candidate of ALL the special interests.

"I think he's running as an independent."

The Snipe Hunt.

VOTE HERE, 14TH PRECINCT, 'ABANDON HOPE, ALL YE WHO ENTER HERE.'

"The mountain wants four more years, but we have decided to worship the moon."

Biden Droppings.

Jeffersuni and Pat Iraq Henry.

'I don't want just your vote. I want to go to bed with you and 70 percent of your income, too!'

Sean Hannity

Senator with a 'lunatic fringe'.