Election Campaign Manager T-Shirts

'Ah, but when I made my campaign promises, I didn't say 'Simon says'!'

"Good boy."

'If only every year was an election year.'

Political convention

An informed voter is a good voter

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

Elections

Unfettered Corporate Campaigning.

A political promise is intended to be a golden egg...Which is kept in a pork barrel and after an election...Hatches into a dead duck before...it turns invisible so it can quietly vanish.

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

'Son, voting isn't a rational procedure by which one strategically selects an electable candidate who will best serve your interests. Voting is an emotional response to your gut level fears!'

'I won't lower myself to the level of my opponent.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

Hello, this is Cable News. Oh. I'm Mortimer Park. As you know, we only have four short years until the next presidential election. So it's time to start asking: Who should run? Whom do you prefer? (A) Al Gore … (B) John Kerry … (C) Marco Rubio … (D) Ted Cruz ... (E) Christ Christie ... House of Java Cybercafe. How about (F) You? Mr. Eugene Yu is actually (T).

'What's the difference? Some people call it privatizing government. Others call it super pacs buying congressmen.'

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

The following is a paid political announcement.

An American flag being hung by Trump's tie

2020 Republican Party National Convention

Palin 2012

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

'Confusing, dangerous times call for confusing, dangerous leadership!'

LAST-MINUTE CAMPAIGN STOP

America's funniest election gaffes

"We're looking for the kind of bad taste that will grab - but not appall."

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

Election 2020

"Killer performance, but let's get back to the dog and pony show."

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

'Psst! Wanna Buy A Democracy?'

"Do you take dark money?"

Jerry Brown.