Political Campaign Consultant T-Shirts

'I don't like to talk about my brother -- he's a political campaign consultant.'

"Good boy."

The president's men

'If only every year was an election year.'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

Public Relations: Reputations cleaned and repaired

SAGE mentality

"We've won control of the congress. Our next objective is to win control of the media."

First you're a law student, then you're a lawyer, then you're a judge, then you're a politician, then you're a criminal.

Benedict & Associates: Communication Strategies, Lobbying. . .

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

Rock and a Hard Place

'Yes, it's a stupid speech, Senator, but you've got to court the stupid VOTE.'

Vladimir Putin Pulling Trump Across The Table By His Tie

Thin Tank and Emote Tank.

'This 'infrastructure' stuff you keep talking about -- does it have anything to do with vegetables?'

'If you have to ask, you can't afford it.'

"Rudy has asked me to apologize, on his behalf, for your being offended..."

"Killer performance, but let's get back to the dog and pony show."

Palin 2012

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

"No, no, that’s in a bar, Mr. President — you can talk politics and religion here."

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

"Do you take dark money?"

Automatic Congressman

Think tanks.

'I've changed my mind...I want to grow up to be a politician.'

"Our rule of thumb is: 'Keep it complicated' - so no one will understand how we choose a candidate."

Patrick Hendy Rodham Clinton

'I know zero about the issue, so I can't be called a 'Washington insider'.'

"What kind of politician would I be if I didn't politicize this crisis?"

"With great power comes great reward."

Debating Society. I can accept that money is speech as long as we can agree that some spending is like yelling fire in a theater.