Elderly Neighbors T-Shirts

"I told him it wouldn't kill him to try to be nice once in a while, but I was wrong."

"Face it, Dear, we're in a desperate battle with gravity...and it's winning!"

'You get the feeling we're getting too familiar?'

'Social security benefits are raising ... but the system's runnin' out of bread.'

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

...And he calls himself the 'Green' Giant...

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

"First time pruning?"

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"See? And you said you couldn't work from home."

'Why can't my walks be that fun?'

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Why bother?"

"Maureen Alsop is leaving her magnolia, and her delphinium and her cats with us this weekend."

"Oh indeed I did: I went feral for a year when I was young. It taught me a lot about the world, but about myself too..."

'You know you're getting old when you take longer to recover than to get tired.'

"He loves his leaf blower."

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"Maybe we should have brought a Riesling."

'So glad you could make our vegetarian BBQ.'

Canape?

Neighbor Leaf Wars

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Every so often, Madeline gets carried away.

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

'He has a big heart. . . inviting his homeless friends in to stay dry.'