Elderly Lifestyle T-Shirts

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

Albert & Myra - The End Story

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Church Basement Foodie

"I don't know who you are!"

"No, I don't want to live forever, but I damn sure don't want to be dead forever, either."

". . . and now it's his memory. Three times on Saturday he asked me what day it was. Or did I already tell you that earlier?"

"Wish I could do that." "Better give him a dog treat and a bath first."

Why Do Old Hippies Smile?

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

"I've outlived my conventional and alternative doctors."

"But, doctor, what are the advantages of living longer?"

'No need to yell son, I may be deaf, but I can still read.'

"My novel is about a romance between an octogenarian and a septuagenarian, but I can't remember which is which."

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

"I get it! I get it! Elephants never forget. Now quit bragging about it!"

"We settled into the one-level after our hips got bad."

"At my age, your legs and bowels begin to go."

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

Getting older is...making noises whenever you bend down or get back up.

Old woman with trolley full of medication.

'Come die with me.'

"At our age I'd say we have about two or three binge watches left in us."

'How do you feel when you get up in the morning?' 'Amazed!'

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'

"Would you like to hear tonight's specials, or have you already closed yourselves to new experiences?"

"You want the truth? I can't remember the truth!"

"The wattle fairy came again last night."

"I look forward to growing dead with you."