Eid-ul-fitr Gifts

Good News from Iraq

"No. I can't 'let it out a bit'. It's armour, you'll just have to go on a diet!"

A Major Refresher Course is in Order.

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'The second diet of my diet is always the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"Are these prices?" "No, that's our Calorie-fixe menu."

'For heaven's sake, Lois, when are you going to give up this mad dieting of yours?' (woman falls through drain).

"Wow - Heavy, man"

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'Too many people in our state are overweight, Senator. They want fat-free pork.'

"That's actually my phone. When I answer my calls I get a little bit of a workout."

Man posing on beach as women ignore him.

"I'm having my entrails read."

"I thought you said I needed to get some 'extra size'."

"Yes, if that towel weighs 25 lbs that would explain the reading."

'Throw me back and I'll tell you where a 12-pounder is hiding.'

'Take one of these diet pills every time you regain consciousness.'

'Hey, Bob, can you get this itch on my chin? It's driving me nuts.'

Owl thinks of mathematical equation.

Woman Weighing Herself on Two Scales.

"Oh my God, help! Is there a logician on board?!"

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

"Hold on, hun... I'm just saying, losing four ounces in a month is better than gaining four ounces in a month!"

Warning. Objects in mirror my bear no relation to reality.

'How long has it been shaking like a bowl full of jelly when you laugh?'

'I'm putting you on a 'whatever tastes good, don't eat it' diet.'

"Look, I can still fit into the suit I wore during the last paradigm shift."

Shakespeare in the clink

'Good. Then there's no reason to stay on this diet any longer.'

'Don't step on that in your bare feet - my mom does and screams.'

Scales

Fat man on scales.