Ego Master Pillows

Woman standing behind boss with sign saying 'Applause'.

Had a great day, boss. Drove my ball into the water twice, lost three balls in the rough, and played the worse game in my life - I got him to sign the contract.

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Zenemies.

Yoga.

After years of intense inner work, Bill finally got his life completely in balance. That's when he noticed the new loose thread.

'I'm going to have an out-of-body experience -- can I bring you anything?'

"Haven't you wondered why I live about 50 years longer thank you?"

'Are you not thinking what I'm not thinking?'

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Guru.

'And with this one I scored 138 not out...every one off the edge.'

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

Three card brag - I'm great! I'm really handsome & I'm very rich.

"Show off."

"Mrs. Beasley, send the employees a memo stating that, from now on, they are to refer to me as 'Alpha Male'."

When Buddha came to nirvana.

"I'm trying to achieve total harmony of body, mind, and cash-flow."

'Do you mean 'who cares what the meaning of life is,' or that 'who cares' IS the meaning of life?'

"Hoarder."

'I was trying to extinguish my ego, and I got an Out of Memory Error.'

"So you want for your three wishes...world peace, happiness for friends and family...and the weekend off."

The Boss.

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

'You're right, Mr. Benson, no question about it...I agree...yes! Absolutely! Yes...yes...'

'Please join me now in a group meditation.'

Zenboni

'I don't need such a big office as this. My ego does.'

Relax.

Hierarchy with 'Me' at the top.

"And afterwards, I'll be signing my new DVD of this presentation in the lobby."

'The only exercise I believe in is the exercise of power.'