Ego Bragger Pillows

'You think you're better than me, don't you?'

"I don't post selfies because I don't want people to feel better or worse about their looks."

When Tia Carmen says... "I got it for a very good price!" it means...she stopped at a garage sale on the way home.

'I give the same advice to all new teachers. Pretend you know what you are doing.'

Securing a Magnificent Salmon.

'The greatest wine in my collection? Why, it's my '45 Chateau Palmer and, oh, what a coincidence, it's right here!'

'This buggy gets only about one mile per gal.'

'Tut. Now I suppose we'll have to hear all about her holiday!'

'That's Jeb Lambert. He was actually the first one to say 'paper or plastic'. Before that everyone said 'plastic or paper'... I mean, can you imagine?'

'Don't panic Big Guy, I'm just here to cut you down to size.'

'Does that include the fishing rod?'

"I'm not conceited although, heaven knows, I have every right to be..."

'Am I biased or are my ideas always best?'

'Well my anchor is bigger than your anchor!'

'I'm staying in college long enough to master bookkeeping, then fake the rest.'

"This suit cost 12,000,000,000,000 space credits."

"You're so good-looking and noble and strong! I can't believe how you fought off that shark!"

"This is Ritz Rose, substituting for the vastly over rated Ed Yomp..."

Puck Building Shoot-out

The fact you just swam 60 lengths might have impressed me if we weren't in a hot tub.

Loud Mouth Bass.

“Please—outside of work I’m not your boss. I’m just Dave with the nicer car, bigger house, and three-hundred-dollar haircut.”

Proud parent of a partner at Barnow, Littman, McKenna & Huyck.

"No, I can't play piano, but I could fill that bowl with hundred dollar bills."

"My skyscraper's taller than yours."

"My majesty!"

"He's a new bagger from the supermarket. He's really conscientious!"

'That's nothing - I once nibbled a toe that was THIS big...'

"I heard about the California wine glut and I'm committed to doing my part to end it."

Checkout. I can't tell you to take paper or plastic -- baggers can't be choosers.

'What - you again won the 'Greediest Banker of the Month' - award?? Honey, I'm so proud of you!!'

'Albatross bragging about his latest catch...'

Man begging getting pelted with coins.

'Frankly, I'm getting a little sick of hearing about that round!'

"I do ballet, conservation, starvation, cancer research, the needy, a little art, and a smidgen for Farmington."