Eggstravaganza Detectives T-Shirts

'Well, well, well. . . I see you've hidden several thousand eggs in an offshore basket. . .'

Round up all the king's horses and all the king's men for questioning.

"I'll have the Investigator's Special."

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

"And how is last week's tilapia tonight?"

"I think you should be aware that the chef is a summer intern."

'Waiter, there's a Fly-Agaric in my soup.'

'This fortune cookie says 'buy oriental tea futures'...'

"We add an eighteen percent gratuity for parties of six or more."

Easter Egg Delivery

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

'I said, 'I'd like to see the chef!''

'I have a bad feeling about this place, Watson... and I smell a rat!'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

"How 'local' is the fish?"

"I'll have your check in a moment, sir."

"Don't tell him anything."

"How did I find my lamb chop? Well, I lifted up a roast potato and there it was."

CSI Fridays

"And here is the quality control department for our deviled eggs."

"Yes, a table for three: me, him and his ego."

"Sherlock Combs there said he believes it's an inside job."

"You'll get right back over here if you know what's good for you!"

"Don't try the candied yams and sweet peas, turns out they are vegetables."

'Mine was stone cold.'

Plane with banner shoots at another.

"You can tell it's a classy restaurant - they're ignoring us with panache."

'No, no... I ordered a tart, not a tort!'

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'

"Good boy Alex! You've eaten all your vegetables again."

'Well, that's the last of the garlic repellent.'

'Waiter, I don't remember ordering this gristle!'

'Darling - are you finding these waiters rather over-attentive?'

"This place is slipping. The 'Chef's Surprise' looks more like a cook's confusion."