Eggcentric Humorist Pillows

'My first piece of advice is not to put all your eggs in one basket.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'We have three minutes left.'

'Frankly, if all the King's men couldn't put him together again, what chance do we have?...'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

"Rapunzel? Rapunzel moved out years ago. I'm Bruce, and I have a stack of old newspaper clippings I'd like to show you."

"Well, it's a simple enough work contract: as long as you produce eggs, the farmer will feed you..."

"Funny-all the king's horses don't seem to be helping at all."

Mum, Dad, I've met something...

'Mom said I'd be a late bloomer, but this is ridiculous.'

"So tell me, what is it about your life that isn't making sense to you?"

'Come quick, Mrs. Dumpty! Your son fell off the wall!'

"I'm waiting in for a plumber."

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

Russian eggs.

How the Easter Bunny Spends Halloween.

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Okay, I give up. What do you put in your cake recipe that tastes so familiar?'

A hen paninting her eggs with egg-shell paint

Postman frying a parcel marked 'handle like eggs'.

'You're right chicken does come before the egg.'

I only lay egg whites.

'John and Yolko.'

' Look at these yolk stains.I figure he was killed here,then dragged out to the wall to make it look like an accident.'

Humpty Dumpty's Cat. You really gotta learn to land on your feet.

Hen notices egg and herself have crack .

Easter Bunny

'Yeah, I knew Dumpty, I let him take a fall for me, I thought he was hardboiled.'

"Bond. Humpty Bond."