Eggcentric Humorist Pillows

'My first piece of advice is not to put all your eggs in one basket.'

'Put an egg in the bowl and beat it with the whisk.'

'We have three minutes left.'

'Frankly, if all the King's men couldn't put him together again, what chance do we have?...'

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

"Rapunzel? Rapunzel moved out years ago. I'm Bruce, and I have a stack of old newspaper clippings I'd like to show you."

"Well, it's a simple enough work contract: as long as you produce eggs, the farmer will feed you..."

"Funny-all the king's horses don't seem to be helping at all."

'Come quick, Mrs. Dumpty! Your son fell off the wall!'

Mum, Dad, I've met something...

'Mom said I'd be a late bloomer, but this is ridiculous.'

"I'm waiting in for a plumber."

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

Russian eggs.

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

A hen paninting her eggs with egg-shell paint

'You're right chicken does come before the egg.'

Postman frying a parcel marked 'handle like eggs'.

' Look at these yolk stains.I figure he was killed here,then dragged out to the wall to make it look like an accident.'

Hen notices egg and herself have crack .

Easter Bunny

'Yeah, I knew Dumpty, I let him take a fall for me, I thought he was hardboiled.'

I told Humpty to go private.

"Bond. Humpty Bond."