Egg-cellent Humor Pillows

'First give me the food - then you get the egg.'

'We have three minutes left.'

'And I thought I had a big egg to lay.'

'Frankly, if all the King's men couldn't put him together again, what chance do we have?...'

Humpty Dumpty in Occupational Therapy

'Honey, the babysitter's here.'

"I'm more interested in hearing about the eggs you're hiding from yourself."

"I forgive you, Bumpty."

'So tell me, what is it about your life that isn't making sense to you.'

No Poaching! Scrambling, Frying or Boiling.

"Well, it's a simple enough work contract: as long as you produce eggs, the farmer will feed you..."

"Funny-all the king's horses don't seem to be helping at all."

"So tell me, what is it about your life that isn't making sense to you?"

Russian eggs.

Anti-litter by-law in effect

'How the heck is anyone supposed to lay with all this chitchat going on?'

'Mom said I'd be a late bloomer, but this is ridiculous.'

'Come quick, Mrs. Dumpty! Your son fell off the wall!'

'I have to face it Irma, I haven't laid an egg in a week now: I'm menopausal...'

'Okay, I give up. What do you put in your cake recipe that tastes so familiar?'

A hen paninting her eggs with egg-shell paint

Postman frying a parcel marked 'handle like eggs'.

'You're right chicken does come before the egg.'

I only lay egg whites.

'My first piece of advice is not to put all your eggs in one basket.'

IRS, 'Sorry, but you can't count them as dependents before they hatch.'

'John and Yolko.'

Hen notices egg and herself have crack .

'Yeah, I knew Dumpty, I let him take a fall for me, I thought he was hardboiled.'

Egg ghost stories.

Easter Bunny

I told Humpty to go private.

"Bond. Humpty Bond."

'Mrs Dumpty, Humpty's up on the wall again.'

How to live ecologically without wasting power.