Eggcellent Chef T-Shirts

"Now carefully flip one side of the omelette..."

The Rooster Comedian.

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

Keith Floyd.

Witch's Brew.

"Fair's fair. I cooked the dinner, so you can clean the cauldron!"

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

Skyscraper Chef's Hat.

"The wings are addictive."

Cooking With Pollock.

"Sauted lard, please."

"You're doing it wrong."

Sandwich snob.

"I'm not eating a TV dinner. Now it's called 'Computer Cuisine.'"

'I wish John would stop using that gourmet pet food that makes gravy when you add water.'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

End of the day bargains at the cheese counter.

'Blimey, how old is this stilton?' 'Let;s put it this way...it used to be cheddar.'

Meet the layer.

'Of course I'd never have so much as looked at Timothy if it wasn't for his nose for truffles.'

"Jean-Pierre, homemade caviar for table six, please!"

"This isn't just any old food wine. This is the foodies' food wine."

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

He just fell off the wall. It sounds like a case of "restless egg" syndrome.

'Ketchup? You know that's an insult to the chef, right?'

'Thanks, I found the cheesecloth. Can you recommend a nice wine to serve with it?'

'These are exquisite! You simply must give me your recipe.'

'Tragically, all the king's horses and all the kings men couldn't put him back together again. And, in today's weather, it's hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk out there!'

Lobster potion.

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

'Gentlemen, tonight's special is broiled sea urchin, with raspberries, over candy corn, with a goat's milk sauce. I would suggest a wine to recommend with it, had I attended sommelier school in the Twilight Zone.'

'This is Muriel's kitchen, where the magic happens -- you know, Voodoo and stuff like that,'

MasterWitch

"Examine the bottle? Sniff the cork? At these prices why am I doing all the work?"

"Do you want a clean one?"