Egg Inspector T-Shirts

"I don't care if it's a boy or a girl, just as long as it's Grade A."

All Natural Nothing

Garden pond: mosquito breeding ground

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

"Number 2. Step forward please."

"Out with the old fish, in with the new."

The family picnic is at 5. Would you please boil the eggs, Twig? And Teddy? Go clean out the cooler! Oh! Grab the badminton set, too. Stop. Your little cousins will need entertaining! Leave it to mom � To take the independence out of Independence Day.

"So! When's the big day?"

"Would you like me to warm up your eggs?"

"I changed my mind - I don't want any shredded cheese on my salad."

"Dad, did you know Tia Carmen got a job at my school cafeteria?"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"You did order the chemical-free insecticide."

'Use by June 2007. Gah' - 'Use by July 2007. Double gah.' - 'Best of a bad bunch...'

"We can serve a rare handburger, but because of health regulations, this room will have to be heated to 160 degrees."

The bad egg.

'Honey, you can't keep running to Daddy every time you find a little bug or something in your pool!'

"Congratulations, it looks like half a dozen."

"Be right with you - just need to call for a tow truck and change today's 'Catch of the Day' to venison."

"You'll get right back over here if you know what's good for you!"

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

Man domesticates the chicken (centuries later, eggs were found to be edible).

"Half a dozen brown—three large, three jumbo!"

"It says it's 100% ground beef. Only bones, brains, butts and eyeballs. Absolutely no pink slime added..."

'Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.'

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

Chef swatting flies into a bowl in a sushi bar.

'Why on Earth would you ask if this turkey is genetically modified?'

'I hope you're hungry.'

The food inspector

Food Uncertainty

Bird and Worm.

Your friend, Ernie, is an impressive, multi-talented guy! He's been a actor in the theater, in archeologist, and now he's a diplomat! He hasn't been any of those things. He used to install doors. Oh, he told me he was "applauded for his entrances." And he was an inspector, book for expired yogurt, at the dairy warehouse. He said he "searcher for ancient cultures." Now he sells mattresses. You think he's a diplomat? Yeah, he told me he's "devoted to eliminating unrest in the world"

It's Humpty-Dumpty! Tell the King we don't know who's behind it. But we suspect poachers!

"Freeze! We're taking a look at your additives, preservatives, artificial coloring..."