Effortless Host T-Shirts

'I sent out for everything.'

Tartine

Come dine with me!

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

LAY ZEE FUK

Dinner at the Trapdoors

'A little piece of advice, Verl. . . cut your sandwich loaf on a diagonal . . . that way people will think they're gettin' more.'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

"Since being semi-retired everything I do is half-assed."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

Canape?

"It comes with a small Greek salad."

"Joel! Killer crust!"

"Sorry, that's not my table."

Horn of Leftovers

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

'So glad you could make it! Do come in...'

"I'd like to toast our guests."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Can I tell you about a few items that aren't on the menu?"

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

'Giles is a surgeon who likes to bring his work home with him.'

"I’ll have something for you as soon as Table Seven sees the entrée prices."

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

'We can always cook it one half at a time.'

'Because Thanksgiving is about a bountiful harvest. That's why we have to eat all these vegetables.'

'He was hosting a business dinner for 300. Those were his last words.'

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

Join me for dinner?

"I sense a lot more going on with you than 'house-husband."

"We used to entertain a great deal."