Efficient Shopper Pillows

Some online retailers are offering to exchange any gift after Christmas. We don't need to match that to keep market share. Our business model is entirely different that theirs. Meanwhile, at the mall. Halloween has come and gone ... Thanksgiving went too soon ... so now I hum a Christmas tune ... that's played in stores since June!

"They're on special offer so I got three times more than I could ever use for twice as much as I could afford!"

'If by 'great', you mean 'terrible', then yes, we have plenty of great beers for under $4.00 a six-pack.'

I thought you said Megson couldn't be bought.

'I've never opened her up on the highway, but I get great mileage in the city!'

"The only thing that's not gone up is the pound."

"The Box is bigger, the contents smaller, increased the price and called it improved."

'Running your own business means being self-made, unfortunately it also means finding out what you're made of!'

'What can you get with a quarter?'

STRIP Hambone: Expensive repair job

'So the prince and princess lowered their expectations became savvy consumers, then they lived reasonably contented forever after.'

The Bargain Brand

Everything for a buck.

Man on Stilts in a Market

How much would you take off for cash?

Complex Carbs

'We're going to need a bigger basket.'

"It's about time the price of generic drugs went down! Oh, and give me fifty quick picks."

Birthday Party Supplies: Plates, Cups, Decorations, Games, Aspirin, Ibuprofen.

'My wife doesn't just allow for inflation - she helps it along.'

'Going into business sale' at a jeweler's.

'They say gemstones have properties for relieving stress. . . once you get past the stress of paying for them.'

Buying roses - 'You got any with no stem?'

"Tia Carmen! We're at Plaza Mall...not Flaco's Flea Market!"

"Most of it is the same, but if you look here you'll see that the price is twice as big"

Garage sale.

"I don't need one, Gracie. My shopping list is very simple! Things I have a coupon for and things that are on sale!"

"Sales of our festive toilet cleaner have gone through the floor...it makes you worry that people have forgotten what the festive season is ALL ABOUT!"

Yard Sale: Like-New Kitchen Gadgets

"People seem to be saying, Christmas is early, much earlier than they did last year."

A Room (with adequate light and ventilation, no psychotic neighbors, near a grocery store, in a halfway-decent building in an O.K. neighborhood [not Queens, please God] for under $2000 a month) of One's Own

Dad she's fallen into the cereal again!

You Can Afford 8 Less Products Each Week

'This could be a swell time to buy our selves out!'

"Our goal is to make prices so low that even our employees could shop here."