Educational Policymaker Pillows

The Texas School Book Depository

"Look on the bright side, Headmaster, selective education is safe for the time being"

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

'What's play?'

"Is there any way I could get a dashboard instead of a report card?"

"Nous somme desir-eh, go, er, allez, erm, universitaire français, s'il vous plait."

'The reason the core curriculum seems so ambiguous is that we dot really have a core curriculum.'

"Coronavirus, masks requirements, falling test scores, student violence - we need to be able to pray in school!"

Budget

"We've created a safe, nonjudgmental environment that will leave you child ill-prepared for real life."

'Lessons have been learned.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

"In this one, references to everything have been deleted."

'I wasn't playing hooky -- I was fleeing the deteriorating public school system.'

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

New dunce caps

"Congratulations! It's a pass."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

'The trouble with education is everyone knows how to teach, but nobody knows how to learn.'

'Honey, the long-run is here!'

'I gave up hope of receiving a Genius Grant years ago. Now I'm basically shooting for the less impressive Mediocrity Grant.'

"I'm holding George back this year because he's failed to forge a personal style."

"Not only should science be Bible-based, Creationism, but also math, Roman numerals!"

The Church of DanaeDanaeism: 'Intellectual bigotry...Go ahead, blaspheme my holy scriptures, the media loves it...'

'The legislation HR2109 would increase state aid to education. Ask not for whom the bell tolls. It tolls for you.'

"No textbooks. I'm strictly Web-fed."

'It has cut down on note-passing, glancing at fellow students' test papers and spitballs.'

"What I do is create elegant solutions for problems that don't exist."

"Maybe school's a good thing... I mean...where else do hundreds of people with similar backgrounds come together under one roof...all following a daily routine...with guidance and supervision to better themselves and society? Ya know...besides prison?"

Bernie for Labor!

NO CRT

Truth In Education

SEX EDUCATION, 'It's a crazy idea, but it just might work.'

"I'd like to apply for the work-study program."